Fidelity and the Empty Nest

When I was younger and would hear of couples who had been married for many years were getting a divorce, I wondered how that could happen. I thought that after 30 or even 40 years of marriage they should have all the “bugs” out of their relationship by then.  Now that I have been married for 46 years and have been an empty nester for quite a few years, I realize that as we go through the various stages of life, we must be vigilant in keeping our marriage strong. President Spencer W. Kimball said it best in his book Faith Precedes the Miracle: “The Lord says in no uncertain terms: ‘Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.’  The words non-else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, an neither social life or occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall take precedence over the companion spouse” (142-43). To remain faithful to a spouse must continue to be in the forefront of any couple’s relationship, regardless of how many years they have been married. When the children leave the nest and the parents, especially the mother, have more time to devote to other people and other activities, this is when it is so important to do as President Kimball counsels: nothing should take precedence over the companion. Just because a couple has been married for many years, as Elder David A. Bednar said: “Marital status in and of itself does not exempt or automatically protect a man or a woman from temptations related to the law of chastity” (Moral Purity, BYU-I Dev., Jan. 7, 2003).  Even if a man or woman say they would never be tempted to have a physical relationship with someone while married to their spouse,  they may not think of the dangers of emotional and spiritual infidelity, which occurs, as Kenneth W. Matheson said in an article in the September 2009 issue of the Ensign, “when emotions and thoughts are focused on someone other than a spouse.” If we aren't careful we can find that a harmless friendship can grow to something more, even physical infidelity.  And how can we keep this from happening? No matter how many years a couple has been married they need to do as President Howard W. Hunter said, “Be faithful in your marriage covenants in thought, word, and deed” (Conference Report, Oct 1994).