Council Together Often

Over my many years of marriage I have learned the importance of a couple counseling together, even if it is just talking. I have experienced what happens when you don’t talk, and I know the blessing of truly working together in making decisions that benefit both my husband and me. I agree with Elder Craven’s words about the meeting of the Quorum of the Twelve: “They strive to feel the manifestations of the Spirit concerning the item being discussed, which may necessitate a change in their own feelings and thought in order to be in harmony with the entire Council” (Called to the Work, 111-13.).  Letting discussion continue until there is a consensus, not a compromise, is the best counsel for any couple. How many times do we feel like we have to give in to keep the peace, or we feel our thoughts and feelings are not being heard and we just stop participating in the discussion.

I interviewed one of my sisters-in-law for the parenting activity, and the concept that she said kept her marriage strong after the birth of her first child was that she and her husband counseled or talked about the change in their relationship and their needs. Instead of her husband feeling left out and perhaps even angry as so much of her attention was turned toward the baby, he talked to her about his feelings, and she worked harder to include him in the experience of having a new born, and also made sure that the intimate relationship they had before the baby came was nurtured as well. She talked with him as well about the changes that she was experiencing and together they learned how to go from a couple to a family of three. I feel they are as Elder L. Tom Perry said, “They are united together in word, in deed, and in action as they lead, guide, and direct their family unit” (Ensign, May 2004 p. 71).